Poems and Words/Pictures The Road Home . . .
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THIS IS HOME NOW.
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S
Chop it up. Chop it out.
Fishy fishy fishy, you never called me or talked or sought me out
I was there for you.
Fishy fishy, you raised your voice- you told me what to do.
My overtures, my advances, my checking in, my cooking! rejected.
You were verbally abusive. You ignored me for decades.
You promised but we never practice art, science, and discovery together.
You promised but you never came through.
You tried to take over my life. You tried to leave me, and
You Took my story. You Stole my story.
Say each line and tap along in your EMDR routine.
Its true. Having way more fun than you,
I don't need You. Out of my life.
Chop it up. Chop it out.
Fishy fishy fishy, you never called me or talked or sought me out
I was there for you.
Fishy fishy, you raised your voice- you told me what to do.
My overtures, my advances, my checking in, my cooking! rejected.
You were verbally abusive. You ignored me for decades.
You promised but we never practice art, science, and discovery together.
You promised but you never came through.
You tried to take over my life. You tried to leave me, and
You Took my story. You Stole my story.
Say each line and tap along in your EMDR routine.
Its true. Having way more fun than you,
I don't need You. Out of my life.
What do you dream on vacation?
It started with our room in Milwaukee. We were asleep but awakened to music. It was Holiday Jams like Caribbean style. Rick was gone and I turned over, toward the window. On the settee next to the window- Leo DiCaprio reclined. He gestured: come here. Silent, eyes burning into mine. I wagged my finger at him. "No, no no, Leo." He came over to me, and I was dressed. The denim jumpsuit was very cute on me. He and I walked out of the room together, and the scene changed. I found myself in a dark abyss, and as I looked around for a handhold I realized that I was suspended inside a dark vacuum. I could make out groups of plateaus descending into darkness and I recognized it as the deep part of a coal mine. Then a voice over my left shoulder: I will show you how to go up". It was Obi-Wan Kenobi, in the iteration of Ewan McGregor. He grasped my left elbow and up we flew. As we arose through the space, we began waving our palms and diamonds scattered in all directions. I saw faces and hand extending out form the dark walls, coal black people with glowing eyes, trying to grab us. As we scattered them from the walls they disintegrated into diamonds. At the top of the space Obi-Wan left me and I saw a ship off in the distance and flew to it. I landed on the desk, and resumed searching the area, I heard music. Long story short: Rick was dancing with six women all dressed in the same patterns, along with Leo DiCaprio. They invited me in and we partied. I left to get the camera so I could get pictures with everyone, and couldn't find my way back; I encountered many strange things on that ship and then woke up. 2023 July |
Looking Down On All.
Nails breaking again, I'm cold inside and out. Snow caps the horizon like ends of shredded paper Or plastic Nothing resembles. Not familiar. O to be real from here. Being older gazing at landscapes from my plane, Twenty thousand feet Grizzled others with old eyes riding aloft Two minutes to think before the next task Or fly task free Passed out on the flight Gaping mouth Snoring and relaxed You can be yourself here Guarded Or relaxed Chillax reminds me of Lizzie Borden in the snow Flailing away for practice Cold, absolute zero, will cauterize just as well. It worked with my heart. 2010 |
Wait, I'm Coming Too.
I found my voice.
They saw it and I said it.
Past me, the line of walkers trudge outwards.
It is nice to see the blue sky, hear the birds a little longer.
Back into the unit we file
In order of job, assignment and ability,
Back into this warm and caring facility.
Work on yourself, we'll do that too
They said it and I saw it.
Past me, the line of walkers trudge back into their rooms,
Lives, schedules, meds.
Just once I want some care. I want, in no particular order
Peace, absence of conflict and tension, all pull together.
Heave ho, only who are the pirates?
I'm a captive of my soul. No one knows me, of me, about M-E.
They do it and I do it too.
Past me, the line of people washing in and out like a shore.
Disconnected, I seek out those who will speak.
In order of job, assignment, and ability
I've been cast aside.
Alone, I glide, notice, think, feel-what?
It's a job to work on myself, I conclude.
I'm sure that is why I fly, I flee, and I flay my skin to shreds
Unsure whether guilt, fear or shame is in charge.
Back into the unit I trudge.
2017
I found my voice.
They saw it and I said it.
Past me, the line of walkers trudge outwards.
It is nice to see the blue sky, hear the birds a little longer.
Back into the unit we file
In order of job, assignment and ability,
Back into this warm and caring facility.
Work on yourself, we'll do that too
They said it and I saw it.
Past me, the line of walkers trudge back into their rooms,
Lives, schedules, meds.
Just once I want some care. I want, in no particular order
Peace, absence of conflict and tension, all pull together.
Heave ho, only who are the pirates?
I'm a captive of my soul. No one knows me, of me, about M-E.
They do it and I do it too.
Past me, the line of people washing in and out like a shore.
Disconnected, I seek out those who will speak.
In order of job, assignment, and ability
I've been cast aside.
Alone, I glide, notice, think, feel-what?
It's a job to work on myself, I conclude.
I'm sure that is why I fly, I flee, and I flay my skin to shreds
Unsure whether guilt, fear or shame is in charge.
Back into the unit I trudge.
2017
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Fly.
I want to pack my bags again.
Hit the road to meet people who think I came into the job more fat than thin
And then lose weight and get into shape around them, and then
leave again.
Put my chair and table and crates into a truck
Drive away to the new place of good luck.
Maybe I will even purchase another bed…
One week on and one week off, a schedule for one who will not scoff
At the idea of staying and playing up North
Or moving home to clean and for what it is worth,
See my spouse in his house with his mouse.
He’s not a louse.
I’d like to stroll in wearing my new suit, unknown to those for whom I will conspire
To get out the lead and light the fire.
Change up the thing and do this, that way, and that, this other way instead.
Change your head.
Not ready to retire.
The breath of this place is stale and ordinary. This television cubicle, it is the fishbowl, portrays me as something I am not, I am done with it. Boring data entry. Not knowing anything until I walk and ask, pretend it was this way, not that, or that way, not this. No one really cares, or really ever cared, so I move on past it to the new things. That is the best. I will be there, and then a place, here, and it will be the same without me. That is the heart tear. Not as bad as the others.
I am no longer a hurt bird being toyed with by a vicious cat, I am a free bird with a mended wing, as others remain in the toy box I fly free.
Hit the road to meet people who think I came into the job more fat than thin
And then lose weight and get into shape around them, and then
leave again.
Put my chair and table and crates into a truck
Drive away to the new place of good luck.
Maybe I will even purchase another bed…
One week on and one week off, a schedule for one who will not scoff
At the idea of staying and playing up North
Or moving home to clean and for what it is worth,
See my spouse in his house with his mouse.
He’s not a louse.
I’d like to stroll in wearing my new suit, unknown to those for whom I will conspire
To get out the lead and light the fire.
Change up the thing and do this, that way, and that, this other way instead.
Change your head.
Not ready to retire.
The breath of this place is stale and ordinary. This television cubicle, it is the fishbowl, portrays me as something I am not, I am done with it. Boring data entry. Not knowing anything until I walk and ask, pretend it was this way, not that, or that way, not this. No one really cares, or really ever cared, so I move on past it to the new things. That is the best. I will be there, and then a place, here, and it will be the same without me. That is the heart tear. Not as bad as the others.
I am no longer a hurt bird being toyed with by a vicious cat, I am a free bird with a mended wing, as others remain in the toy box I fly free.
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these little Javelinas were enchanting, run wild in Tucson and they Bite!
skunk pigs
A demon at play. My poem.
The next phase is being at rest
What you wish for isn't in reach yet, but coming.
There could be a long hard test
And you could be faced with ongoing dumbing.
You have been the best
Hit the ground running.
Kept cards close to the vest
And always encountered mimes and dummies.
I grew up in the west
Raised by a woman both fierce and cunning
And a father who believed he was best
At instructing about being tricky and funny.
My brothers acted like guests
In the home I was cleaning, cooking and socks-hunting
Because girls were assigned to the family fest,
And boys supposed to be players, funning.
Didn't matter if I were a guest
Returning to a home now humming
After I left home to rest,
My appearance became stunning.
2017
Got a way to tell what happens next - Control predictability, reduce stress.
The Road Home is sometimes down this canyon in California and other times down a plane ride to a city far away.
In 2017: Sacramento, Tucson, New Orleans, Boston and Chicago- each with their own charm, each visited sufficiently. 2018:Vallejo, American Canyon and parts of the Bay. Sacramento and Woodland. 2019:The Valley then quit. 2020: COVID duty is Central CA, quit 2022. Retirement brought me to the tour of 16 states and Canada. an 8000 mile drive and a 1987 Mustang repaired. YEE HAW!
And in time, bills come due. You have to sit and think about the trip and consider lessons learned; then pay for it. Payment comes from the heart and soul as well as the wallet. Compensation earned for being the elder, the crone in the midst of youth.
The Road Home is sometimes down this canyon in California and other times down a plane ride to a city far away.
In 2017: Sacramento, Tucson, New Orleans, Boston and Chicago- each with their own charm, each visited sufficiently. 2018:Vallejo, American Canyon and parts of the Bay. Sacramento and Woodland. 2019:The Valley then quit. 2020: COVID duty is Central CA, quit 2022. Retirement brought me to the tour of 16 states and Canada. an 8000 mile drive and a 1987 Mustang repaired. YEE HAW!
And in time, bills come due. You have to sit and think about the trip and consider lessons learned; then pay for it. Payment comes from the heart and soul as well as the wallet. Compensation earned for being the elder, the crone in the midst of youth.
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click on the photo above to see the canyon pictures
W O R K. H A S. E N D E D .................................................... What about THE work?
A demon at play, Mom Poem.
Kissed my mom's face goodbye for the last time on Tuesday.
It isn't easy to say.
A great relief.
Hooray.
Hooray.
Between December of 2014 and January of 2016, our 2ND SSSW moved to a little neighborhood off of Vermont near the 110, backyard photo shown- recently creating some art, poems, writings, and at last a good night's sleep after years of commuting.
Those in the know will understand the past ME compared to the present ME.
I sat on the concrete steps back there, sheltered on one side with security windows, lights, locks and metal doors and quite defenseless on the other side protected by two junk cars, a bunch of garbage cans and tools...if the marauder were to try to get in he or she would be impaled on garden tools.
The tap water in South Central was yellow and smelled acidic; helicopters flew at all hours. We heard gunshots, back-fire of a random car; and/or fireworks every night. Stray dogs prowled on the side walks, crosswalks, looking both ways. Too bad about the stray cats.
Those in the know will understand the past ME compared to the present ME.
I sat on the concrete steps back there, sheltered on one side with security windows, lights, locks and metal doors and quite defenseless on the other side protected by two junk cars, a bunch of garbage cans and tools...if the marauder were to try to get in he or she would be impaled on garden tools.
The tap water in South Central was yellow and smelled acidic; helicopters flew at all hours. We heard gunshots, back-fire of a random car; and/or fireworks every night. Stray dogs prowled on the side walks, crosswalks, looking both ways. Too bad about the stray cats.
2017-2022 Grimes Canyon being cut apart
UNEXPECTED DELIGHT!
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Sophie and Skobo exhibit traits of world leaders.
Below, my cousin and children from our family to share.
He is made beautiful again.
All things can be made beautified.
Renovation, reconstruction, translation....
Below, my cousin and children from our family to share.
He is made beautiful again.
All things can be made beautified.
Renovation, reconstruction, translation....
![Picture](/uploads/1/0/3/5/10352942/20180609-092031_orig.jpg)
How Much More Do We Have To Give This World?
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Here is my unique self-proposal: Experienced artists need to grow from seedlings.
Beginners bloom-our workshop offers a variety of colorful and entrancing views of the world around us.
Through the grace of our Higher Power, or whatever we perceive the master
controller (our Great Spirit, Father God, Allah, Jehovah, the Master Cylinder, Ja... who be) we can achieve boundless things. Use of our entire brain is not optional-it is required.
LOOK UP!!!!
Beginners bloom-our workshop offers a variety of colorful and entrancing views of the world around us.
Through the grace of our Higher Power, or whatever we perceive the master
controller (our Great Spirit, Father God, Allah, Jehovah, the Master Cylinder, Ja... who be) we can achieve boundless things. Use of our entire brain is not optional-it is required.
LOOK UP!!!!
My business is art display, creation and generation of artistic ideas, and education of youth to the artistic means of self expression. We are an art enterprise for growth.
* Free your inner clucker: Go to the mirror, tuck your hands up into your arm pits, look into the mirror and say the following while moving your elbows back and forth: "Buh-gawk, buh-gawk, buh-gawk." If you wish, you may add head motions by bobbing your forehead forward and back, all the while saying the phrase over and over, louder and softer. Happy good times for one and all!!